Guys who tend to freeze up in front of someone they are attracted to do so because of their mindset. Changing your mindset is the first step in overcoming approach anxiety. Once you achieve this, you will be able to talk to people you don’t know in complete comfort and with confidence.
The mindset that really messes guys up is putting way too much importance on impressing her right off the bat. This leads to the fear of making some mistake and saying something stupid, and focusing on this fear is precisely what can cause you to make some mistake or say something stupid.
If you approach a girl with the mindset that you have do everything and anything to impress her, while also concentrating on your fear of not doing this right, you have lost the battle before you even stepped onto the battlefield.
When you are so focused on avoiding a blunder, it’s nearly impossible to do or say anything for fear that it might lead to making a mistake.
If you are committed to overcoming approach anxiety, you have to change this mindset!
You have to remember two things:
1. You are not out to impress her.
2. Making mistakes is normal and is okay.
Okay, so I’m sure you are now thinking, “Wait a minute – I’m not out to impress her? Isn’t that what everyone is doing everywhere? Aren’t we all always trying to impress one another?”
Here’s your answer: No.
The guys who are out there succeeding with women or in other aspects of their lives did not get there by trying to impress everyone constantly.
These guys are successful because they have supreme self confidence and focus on being themselves. They don’t try to be someone else just to impress a girl. They recognize that approach as a lie, and so should you.
For example, let’s say you meet a girl who is really into reading. You also like to read and you happen to find her really attractive. But, as she begins quoting verses from poets you have never read, you start pretending that you are also really into poetry, when the reality is that you like contemporary authors currently on the bestseller list. You try to mimic what she is saying and come across as a poetry buff, when you really don’t have a clue about poetry of any kind.
How long do you think you can maintain this façade? I would wager probably not much past the second date. So, while it may have gotten you through the first night, this approach will not work long-term. It will eventually come to light that you pretended to be someone you are not just to impress her. She is not going to like this.
Pretending you are something you are not is not part of having supreme self confidence and will not work out for you in the long run.
You need to believe that the person you already are and the qualities you have are enough to attract the girl of your dreams. This is why you really should read “Supreme Self Confidence.”
Part of overcoming approach anxiety is being okay with who you are and getting out there to meet new people and enjoy life. Approach a girl because you find her attractive and because you know you have something to offer as well.
The two of you might be a great match and might actually end up liking the same type of books. Or, you might not. Either way is okay. Differences are not something to avoid; they are what keep interactions alive and interesting.
Remember, your goal is to develop supreme self confidence and overcome approach anxiety by overcoming your demons and learning good conversation skills. Once you have done this, you will be able to let your personality shine through and show the world just how attractive you are.
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