So, you’ve been dumped. The girl of your dreams decided that, for one reason or another, you simply were not right for them or not good enough. We have all been there at one point or another, yet knowing that everyone has been there never seems to make it any better. The good news is that if you figure out how to play your cards right, you can find ways to be redeemed. However, be wary of outlandish schemes aimed at getting your ex girlfriend back, or you might end up looking desperate.

Below you will find some great ways to work on getting your ex girlfriend back without making yourself look desperate.

The first order of business is to remember that at one point you were attractive to your ex. Knowing this, you should try recapturing what it was that caused this initial attraction. You also need to make it clear that you are interested in rekindling and fixing the relationship. This can be difficult, particularly if the relationship ended badly, but you might find that just contacting them after the breakup is enough to open the door to getting them back.

Of course, you do not want to come across as pushy. You need to allow your ex to have time to warm up to the idea of getting back together. Being pushy can make you look too eager, so to work on getting your ex girlfriend back without looking too desperate, you need to be willing to be patient and give it time. A good way to accomplish this is by contacting her or him to express your interest in moving past the bad times and work on continuing the relationship as friends. This can work to your advantage in a number of ways, including allowing you to open the door to trying out the relationship from a different angle, which may lead to rediscovering old feelings. By gaining a new perspective, you may be able to recognize why things went wrong the first time.

You also do not want to be clingy or you could ruin any opportunity for getting your ex girlfriend back. You have to keep in mind that there are reasons the relationship ended as it did; being too persistent could remind your ex of the things that went wrong. Those memories are likely still fresh and painful, and it will not help you if you become a constant reminder of them. Part of getting your ex girlfriend back is actually showing her that you are capable of moving forward and on with your life. Things like hanging out with your friends and getting your own place are important. This might be difficult, but you need to show your ex that you are capable of being on your own or a reunion will end up last on her list.

It is only after you have opened the door to the possibility of a relationship that you can even begin to try to continue the romance. This is not the time to immediately turn up the charm, but rather a time to do a few, small romantic things now and then. You do want to show that you are interested and that the two of you can have fun together without things getting weird, but you need to allow things to develop naturally.

You are the only one who can know your ex well enough to determine the appropriate time to pursue this. If you do not know your ex well enough to know this, then it might be a better idea to put off getting your ex girlfriend back.

This process takes a lot of self-reflection and patience, and it can take time, but overall it is possible to rekindle your relationship without making yourself look desperate. You need to give your ex the necessary room to make decisions and breathe, without giving up hope during the process. Give them some time before reestablishing contact, show interest in making positive changes and respect their personal space. You will find that this truly is the only way to realize your desire of getting your ex girlfriend back.